Gemini folklore

I want to know what dreams are for.

Aren’t they just fictions that you cling to whenever you want something so bad but it’s that bad that you can only have it in your dreams? Like silently loving him and endlessly daydreaming that it’s you and not her holding his hand.

A dream, isn’t it like an expectation that could hurt you to death because at anytime it can turn into a horrendous nightmare?

But why is it that all wise people tell us to dream, and not just simply dream, dream big and believe in it. All the great things today, all the successful men, even Steven Spielberg and Walt Disney, started with a dream. If dreams can lead you to greatness and it’s for free then I shall have a dream, and dream I shall.

And yes, I fell in that kind of trap.

As a child I dreamt of becoming a Cinderella, the Princess of far-far away kingdom, the only love of the most handsome and rich Prince. But I seemed to have forgotten that today, no longer longing to be a princess but a lawyer. No longer longing for a handsome and rich prince but just somebody, in his own imperfections, can truly accept and take me as I am. Yet, I’m happy. In simplicity we find contentment, in humility we find those who are true. Perhaps the moral of this story is that, a princess should not always be seen as rich in material things but is wealthy for possessing someone's heart. It’s an intangible possession that comes for free.


 Since high school days, I want to become a lawyer—very clear, no doubts, and no fears. Pursuing my dream now makes me feel like in a limbo. Questions after questions, is this really my dream or my parents’ whims? Is this something that society has instilled in me with all the promises of good life, brighter future, more people to save and maybe, more people to please? Oh, please. I’m in my most rebellious stage now, endless absences, reading books only a night before exams, failing my midterms and trying to pass during finals. I’m all these but still, I’m in this. My confidant says, “Stop it. It’s not for you because things that you love won’t make you do that. You’re not happy.”

But what is happiness anyway? Worse, what will happen to the dream that I carried with me since I was a child? To destroy it means to lose the meaning of what I exist for.

I barely exist in everything I do now. Everything seems unclear. What is my dream? I don’t know and possibly, will never know. This is a turning point in your life where you say to yourself–go rest your case. Have an expensive vacation and get back to your dreams when you have the courage to fulfill it.

But conscience will tell you otherwise—be responsible. You can’t always do what you want and just ignore what's more important (as dictated by the society). They love you and so they only want nothing but the best for you, plus the fact that you can’t afford expensive vacations.. And my dear, my conscience speaking, to have the best and to be the best you have to work for it. Work now and reap the fruit of your labor in the future. This conscience talk might sound familiar to most of us, if I am so right about this.

So you pray, you ask for guidance even for signs, but me? I asked for resignation. A year ago I told my boss that they should find a replacement, somebody that I could pass on what I’ve learned until I can detach myself from the company. I’m so lucky that they agreed—thank you, Lord.

On to what’s today, to resolve this issue, for now, I am going to crush the gates of hell and push each of my brain cells to work hard for this dream. I realized, it’s not who or how you came up with that dream. Because life is an endless opportunity, to dream again and to pursue that dream, as long as we have the willpower to do it, everything will come into its rightful place. I may be pursuing someone else’s dream right now but I have found the reason why I succumb to it, the reason is pure, it’s because of the wonderful chance to help other people–the most fulfilling thing that a person can do. Amen for this.

If you happen to read this, thank you very much. My Gemini sickness, I guess. Putting it in writing unburdens my mind.

Reading this makes me feel that you are a part of my life.

Hugs and kisses.